This week on Tumblr:
It’s a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. I’m a metaphor. Your keybord is a metaphor. Everything is a metaphor. The universe is turning into one giant metaphor on a molecular scale. Run. It’s too late.
an entire fandom collapsed because of a building
I’m sick of people wrongly defining bisexuality. It’s not ‘attraction to both men and women’ it’s about being attracted to ‘bi’ things like bicycles, binoculars, bilinguals and binary coding smh
So glad someone finally cleared this up.
STOP SAYING A VAGINA IS LOOSE BECAUSE OF A LOT OF SEX.
VAGINAS ALWAYS SHRINK TO THEIR USUAL TIGHTNESS AFTER SEX.
PENISES DO NOT STRETCH THEM OUT OF SHAPE AT ALL
THE VAGINA IS A REALLY STRONG MUSCLE NOT A FLABBY PIECE OF SKIN
WHEN A DUDE BRAGS ABOUT HOW TIGHT A VAGINA WAS
HE’S LITERALLY BRAGGING ABOUT HOW HE COULDN’T GET HIS PARTNER AROUSED.
WOW 4 FOR YOU, BOY.
Spread the word! Maybe one or two boys might actually get it.
a man grabs my wrists because i
have a bigger chance of getting
help than if i were to yell “rape”,
i am taught to keep my mouth shut
when a boy with bruised knuckles
whistles at me, i am taught long
sleeves in school, to hide my knee’s:
the threshold of my thighs, i am taught
short skirts and to wear cigarette burns
as punishments, i am taught to hold my
tongue in the palms of my brain, i am
taught to shut up, swallow my words,
chew my lipstick, speak when i am told,
i am taught to scream “fire” when a man
grabs my wrists, but he is never taught
a shooting star is actually someone driving off rainbow road
I stubbed my toe and naturally I screamed “mOTHERFUCKER” and then my dad poked his head out of the livingroom and said “you rang?”
hats off for the ultimate dad joke